Dropping The Veil - What Can Tantra do for you?

Tantra, an ancient practice for modern times. Tuning into the body, the soul, releasing, letting go, surrendering and communing with the Spirit.

I hear so many people express how tired they are of hiding their truth around intimacy, the body and sexuality, and I share that because it's good to know you're not alone. Isn't it? What I've noticed in my practice is the absolutely inescapable flood of relief that crosses people's faces when I simply reflect back "yes, I hear you, that's normal" or "oh that's common."Usually a smile crosses their faces, followed by a genuinely surprised "really?" This myth that it's only us, the myth which keep us so small, well it's a potent jailer and we are taking a first step towards freedom in understanding that we are not alone after all.

More people come to me with that opening sentence than any other - "I'm tired of hiding, of not being able to be myself," or "I'm tired of feeling stuck and limited in my relationships when it comes to sex and intimacy." So, when we start our tantric journey, the first thing we look at is how to identify who that 'self' actually is, and get clear on our intentions for transformation. Starting with the goal and working backwards we will begin to take apart, or paradoxically, construct, a strong sense of self around our unique maps for pleasure.

For many of us, we have lived carrying messages, beliefs, energy and ideas that are not even ours, and these freeloading hitch-hikers have occupied so much of our lives that we often times don't even know what the possibilities would be without those beliefs. Who would I be if I could let go of….(fill in blank)?

In my practice, when a client steps through the door, I first off acknowledge their courage for getting there; true tantric practice is not for the faint hearted but it is for the Warrior of the Spirit. Recognising the courage required to get there, we then enter into sacred space, co-creating what those sessions will look like. I work quite intuitively once the process is started, acting as a vessel for receiving any clues or keys into unlocking that which is ready for change. To see a client begin to understand what may have been a challenging block, or a sticking point, and to see a client leave feeling encouraged to try to change things out there in their daily life fills me with wonder. In releasing armies of loved-up, conscious, open people, the ripple effects can only be good yes?!

Using a combination of bodywork (massage with intention), breath work, visualisations and other tantric structures, we begin wherever is fitting to the person sitting in front of me. Some clients are clear about where their blocks are and others have no idea. Some come knowing what they want to work on, others go with the flow of trusting the process. Some are very shy, others ready to dive right in. All are good.

It's important to say here that living in a tantric way is not about just sex. Tantra may utilise the powerful force of sexual (creative) energy but it's so much more than a manual of techniques about how to get great sex, in fact in essence that couldn't be further from the truth, though in finding its essence, great sex is usually a guaranteed outcome in my view. What makes it great? The truth makes it great. Integrity and authenticity make it great.

When we release shame, guilt, fear, anxiety and trauma, we create space for pleasure, real embodied pleasure to occupy that empty seat. I invite your questions about my work, my sessions, my one-to-one and group work possibilities. I invite to to step into freedom from the restraints and restrictions you have been given, instead offering up the change to place yourself in the drivers seat. Not all restraint is dull!

http://www.stephmagenta.com

Life and the lessons of Walter Mitty

I'm six cocktails in. I've learnt that life does to adhere to six cocktails. I've learnt that life squeezes out of the confines of life, and that if you let go, then life has its way of showing you different perspectives.

I went out for tea. But then this dynamic started up. Someone told someone I was seeing them, just to stop another someone from feeling something that previous someone did not want to, or know how to, deal with.  So I sat there wondering how the hell I found myself in this Walter Mitty moment. I kinda like the guy who was laying claim to this lie, he's a friend, he makes me laugh, he is vulnerable, he is real, and so I sat with the lie watching it unfold, despite my discomfort.

Many years down the line, many stories later, and life just has this way of showing me that it's never as simple or straightforward as it seems. It's all just us making the best of each moment. Were we animals, we would most likely accept this without needing to understand it, just be in the moment and let it go. But being human and having an ego driven intellect, we need to understand and compute, well I do at least, and yet there are times when emotion is rough and ragged, when we don't know what else to do but lie. Save me father/brother/sister/mother for I have sinned!

So this guy tells someone else he's seeing me, but he's not, and in truth I'm raw in that emotion myself, but he tells it to stop another someone from entering into the illusion of emotion, of hope, and therein lies the issue, hope; one motherfucking cruel bastard that occasionally has us by the balls. You see - what if we dare to believe in hope? You live this life and it's only as 'real' as the hope that the unfulfilling reality you may find yourself living in, will pull you out of where you are, to take you to where you desire to be, and that destination - love, contentment and comfort, well who would not want to be there right? It may feel like a long way from home and sometimes it can most certainly feel like the magician's trump card, the ultimate illusion, for if we do not create the life we desire and live in conscious creation, then hope may as well be the genie in the lamp. 

Life sets us challenges. It creates tasks on a par with those of the princess locked in Rumplestiltskin's tower (or if you're a man think Hercules with his monumental challenges), tasks that call us over and over into truth. And I must be frank when I say I don't really live in that duality world of consciousness any more. I love life. I've walked the path of messy chaotic versions of truth and for me, it's just too much to manage, it breeds toxic emotions and confused people. So now, I choose the simple, honest version of life, the one in which the ego is no longer the King. The one in which the ego, recognised for its weak and futile grasping style of leadership, is banished to the deserts of shame and insecurity, and can lie amongst its fellow thieves of fear, confusion, unfulfilled longing and the like. Me, I hold no court for these petty pirates of authentic living. 

I arrive home humbled once more. I know that the older I get the more I see people hiding their true desires which then become distorted, for in hiding, the masks of illusion gain power. We are all walking our individual hero's journey. Walk tall and choose truth. Or be fallible and accept the mess. Both have merit. Both contain wisdom. The best we can do…maybe summed up below! 

Does My Vulva Look Big In This?

Following on from the seemingly very popular theme of writing fairly explicit blogs on taboo subjects, we come to today's frankly titled piece 'does my vulva look big in this?'

The reason I chose this somewhat direct title was manyfold, but first and foremost it is to serve to blow the lid off another extremely taboo area for open discussion, the wonderful diversity of women's genitalia. Now, you may wonder why so, and why the play-on-words title? We've all heard the question "does my bum look big in this" which has become an almost ironic statement in it's chronic overuse, yet it masks something deeper and far more distressing, the fact that so many women suffer body dysmorphia to some degree or another. 

Body dysmorphia is a condition in which you see yourself as disproportionately different to how you actually look, and how others see you. "Oh my god, I'm so gross" "Oh my good look at my arms, I can't wear that" etc, and yet it would seem that this works mostly one way, in the way of women wanting to be slimmer, skinnier, more toned, more lean, and not so with slender women wanting to be bigger. I don't think I've ever heard an 'oh my god I look too skinny in that" and yet I'm sure as many naturally slim women struggle with their body image as do larger, more curvaceous women, largely due to the 'public gaze' and the common icons of perfection presented to us as our aspirations and ideals for beauty. Ultimately, the female form is massively diverse and yet the mainstream media work hard to convince us that any shape outside this perfect ideal is unattractive, and what absolute bollocks that is! 

Today's post is not to focus on this subject though, it's to go one step further into the no-go zone of the discussion of women's vaginas, labia and vulvas, and how here is one area we would rarely be able to joke about or say out loud (as with the bum question) despite the fact there is a pit of hidden insecurity around it.

Whilst on my tantric path, I have heard so many women voicing deep dissatisfaction and self hatred over the subject of their labia and vulvas. All this pain and yet the truly sad thing is that the diversity in this part of our bodies is as different as the colour of our eyes, and some of us do indeed need a map to find out own way there, never mind a way into willingness to share this part of ourselves joyfully with our lovers. 

In tantric teachings, good ones that is, I've been fortunate enough to witness many women really transforming the way they feel about their genitals. Women with large labia discovering they're not the only ones, women with really hairy pussies facing off women with neat little shaved ones, discussing and understanding the differences and the commonalities. How they look, smell and taste. Discussing and airing our true feelings and recognising just how much of that is a product of the perfection model we're all made to believe exists but is actually an absolute and utter myth. I recommend the book below as a starting point for conversation, currently available from Amazon; basic but helpful. Tell yourself, tell your daughters and your granddaughters, tell your mothers (they often came from generations where it was even harder to talk about this stuff). 

I also recommend that women start to seriously blow the lid off these subjects of taboo conversation by getting the truth out there, by replacing the lies with the wise! Some women, like my friend Thea (who has shared this in her recent book 'Growing into Myself' so I'm not speaking inappropriately about her private stuff here) undergo surgery on their labia for real reasons of physical pain. Some of us are seduced into considering it simply as cosmetic beautification and this is where it gets truly disturbing. Surgery to tighten our yoni's, replace our hymens, cut our labia, or remove our clitorises, this is where my temperature starts to rise really rapidly. STOP! Refuse this affront to our womanhood, and dive instead into the pleasure to be experienced in our bodies and our naturalness when we finally begin to realise that there is no such thing as a 'normal' vagina. No such thing as a 'normal' labia, normal vulva, normal bum or normal body. They're alien constructs a bit like those baby charts that give new parents endless reason to worry where none is necessary. It took me three children before I started ignoring those dots on the charts telling me my baby was 'out of normal range' - "Great! I'm so glad to hear that" would be my response now, "and tell me, what is normal anyway!"

So let's start this dialogue, the one about our less than perfect bodies, for we look more like this:

  

than this:

  

And as we can see from the image above, 'this' doesn't even exist! Our genitals are as diverse as our genetic blueprints so try this one out for size too, another great book for changing the way we think about  the gentitalia (women and men), their appearance and how differently we experience pleasure according to our intimate  body shape, size and form. 

And whilst you're at it, let's try giving them some positive messages. Tell them how FABULOUS they are and if you can't do that, at least try and befriend them just that tiny bit more, as step by step we heal our wounds. And you could start by visiting this wonderful bunch (click link) - workshop coming to Manchester very soon…register your interest here! 

*painted image of two women above by Aleah Chapin

Self Pleasure Versus Masturbation

Good evening all and welcome to 2014! My second post of the year sees me contemplating an altogether different subject, the subject of pleasure and how you get yours.

I was well into my fourth decade before I first heard the term 'self pleasure', and when I did, I admit that it didn't sit comfortably with me. It reeked a little too much of good-girl-squeaky-clean syndrome and somehow seemed a bit 'icky'. Personally speaking, I'd always preferred my fucks to my made loves, my cums to my climaxes and my wanks to my self pleasures. And I'd always chosen words like cunt over vagina, pussy over the euphemistic lady-garden and perhaps the worst one ever, front bottom!

So for me, coming across the phrase 'self pleasure' was a tantric exploration as much about the semantics and their message as it was the form and structure.

Many of us grew up either being told that it would make us blind, it was dirty or it was just something for dark, silent corners that we all knew about but no-one ever discussed, perish the thought. And yet we also knew from an early age, damn this feels good! So for me tantra blew the lid off all of that negative collective consciousness around sex and sexuality, intimacy and the body, and as someone never too backwards at coming forwards, I didn't even know how much further I could go!

I'm still a tiny bit twitchy when I use the phrase self-pleasure as it's just not really me, but I'm getting better at it, you could say that the 'L' plates are off and I'm on the road but not there yet, wherever there is. However I also feel that masturbation sounds so damn clinical, so somewhere in between the two I guess I sit on the proverbial fence waiting to see upon which side I 'cum' down (pardon the pun).

Some of my heroines, women like Betty Dodson and Annie Sprinkle really broke through so many taboos in their work. Betty's famous books Sex For One, Celebrating Orgasm and the like, and Annie's absolutely seminal Public Cervix Announcement really broke the mould when it came to smashing the silent barriers of shame, guilt and fear.

Using her own body, Annie offered up to her audience the chance to see and discuss the deeper, darker, mystical caverns of a woman's body, pleasure and psyche. Her openness encouraged that in others. Her work inspires me to this day and I salute her contribution to sexual progressive thought, feeling and action. Annie's book 'Post Porn Modernist', was one of the first books I ever bought, read cover to cover and have treasured ever since. 

I'm more comfortable with the term self pleasure since discovering tantra, as I can now relate it to the many different ways of experiencing pleasure, and I guess the key for me has been one of taking my pleasure back for me. It's not about me giving it to anyone else, performing or feeling obligated to some reciprocal deal in the bedroom, but how I can give and take pleasure by really owning it, understanding it and revelling in it. Self pleasure could actually be about anything, eating, sleeping, running, gazing into the eyes of your beloved, running a soft bath, resting, whatever it is so long as the intention is there to pleasure the self. In receiving well, we learn to extend that and in turn, to give well, and I'm not sure its possible to give well if you can't receive well. How can we ever hope to do that whilst masturbating silently, quickly and under cover of darkness? So yes, I am beginning to love the term, and to relish my private moments of bliss, and in those moments, masturbation seems far to limited a terminology. 

The french call orgasms 'la petite mort' or 'the little death' and it's true that in my personal moments of ecstatic bliss I probably come closest to that infinite zero point of nothing-ness, the primordial soup, the essence of a small death. The website Beautiful Agony is worth a browse and Clayton Cubitt's highly erotic 'Hysterical Literature' project is just another orgasm waiting to happen to be quite frank. Beautiful, erotic and intelligent, it also opens doors into how we witness pleasure and where that witnessing can take us. There's so much out there, go explore and have fun! It's all about the bliss and nothing about the shame. 

Get orgasmic, its good for you! 

For more teachings on tantra and sexuality, I highly recommend Shakti Tantra

Working With Moon and Year Cycles.

Today sees a new moon on the first day of the new year. Evidently a rare combination especially as there are two new moons in this month, both 'super moons' a term used to refer to a moon which is closer to the earth than usual making it appear larger and brighter. A fitting metaphor that for this year, from what I'm reading, we are really being called to 'walk our talk.'

Now, I've never been one for shying away from processing my 'shit', although it's also true that I've spent my fair share of time digging deep holes in futile attempts to bury it for just a bit longer! But this new moon, on a new day, in a new year, well it seems to have strong resonance for me.

New moons are all about setting intentions, not the kind that every January 1st sees (resolutions) based on not being happy with aspects of ones weight, smoking, drinking or excessive habitual behaviours, but more about actually taking time to really sow seeds about what you invite over the month to come, and if you expand that by 12, the year suddenly becomes consciousness epitomised.

When working with moon cycles you can effectively amplify your intentions by bringing into awareness the cycles of nature and her ebbs and flows. Everything around us is in a state of constant flux and transformation and we are no different. Once upon a time, women who worked with moon cycles (outside of our monthly bleed) and nature were labelled witches, and yet we all live in a cyclic nature of renewal and rebirth. So how can we begin to harness the power of this omnipresent waxing and waning of both the moon, and the energy of the year.

Time it seems, is speeding up. I don't know about you but 2013 seems to have passed in the blink of an eye. My previous blog post lists some of my personal achievements through the last twelve months, and this year my intention is to continue harvesting my goals, values and visions for this beautiful planet, and to sow the seeds that will make my contribution worthwhile. I have children. I consider what legacy I am leaving them. What will they know of me and speak of me when I am old and gone? How will they describe me to others? Hopefully as inspirational, as a person worth emulating, as a great mother and a worthy role model. When I look through the eyes of my children I am humbled and I am motivated beyond the ego dramas, the distractions and the pitfalls and so it makes sense to see the world reflected back at me through their eyes. A perfect silent witness.

Each month at new moon, write a list of around 8-10 intentions. Keep them clear and simple. Write them as if you have achieved them already, no ifs, buts or maybes. No barriers or hesitations. Keep the list visible. At full moon, take your list and reflect upon it, cross any off that have already manifested, and perhaps keep the list under a candle or bowl or other sacred object. Full moon is the time for going deep within and letting go, for releasing that which is not serving us. New moon energy is like the in breath to the out breath of full moon. Multiply this with awareness of the earth cycles and the old pagan festivals, the solstices and the equinoxes, the cross quarter markers, and you can really start to tap into the energy of nature and her natural waves and tides. Get conscious! One love, one life. Live it!

The End Of A Certain Era

"The way we imagine our lives is the way we are going to go on living our lives. For the manner in which we tell ourselves about what is going on is the genre through which events become experiences." - James Hillman, Healing Fiction. Taken from the book Growing Into Myself written by my friend Thea Euryphaessa.

Sitting at my desk, my 'Bliss Beauty' playlist knocking out anthems of spirit and soul, candles lit, stillness of the dark moon surrounds me and it's New Year's Eve 2013. Called into making a choice between the external (going out) and the internal (being with myself in quiet reflection and solitude), I paused, though not for too long, knowing that for once I would honour my own needs and take this intent into 2014. To break free of the 'shoulds' 'would' and 'coulds' and instead to stride into the will, want to, and fully desire to, is a liberating thing. I have only just realised how much of my life is running from an old outworn pattern of fear; not the kind of rabbit-in-the-headlights fear, more a kind of fear of upsetting the apple cart by making choices that please me instead of pleasing others first. Kindness is important, regard for the feelings of others is important, but what use are we to the world when we constantly refuse to acknowledge our own needs first.

This year has been one of great expansion for me, and having started it with more dream sowing and visioning, to some degree I knew where I wanted to go and with whom from the start of 2013, yet there were some surprises thrown into the mix I'd have never seen coming. A sure test of our 'substance' is how well we handle the curved balls isn't it?

Following a wonderful beginning in being asked to speak at a local festival on the subject "My Body, My Choice: Sex Work As A Feminist Statement" (my title) I stepped somewhat nervously into the spotlight of public speaking. What I discovered here is that if we speak from a place of integrity, authenticity and a passion for what we're talking about, well it's ok really, this public speaking thing, for who can tell us we're 'wrong' when it's just a point of view? I think that talk gave me the courage to move forward into an even greater dream and so, when in the start of the year, I came across a conference to be hosted in Las Vegas on sexual health and politics, I knew I wanted to get there. Co-ordinated by the Desiree Alliance, an organisation working hard to ensure that the rights, voices and real experiences of sex workers are fully represented in U.S social and political reform agendas, the conference served as a platform for pushing these issues into the mainstream.

Seeing the conference I knew I wanted to be there, but not just as a delegate this time, as a speaker. I put together a proposal to hold a session on a project I was seeding, the 'Sex Workers Speakeasy'. The idea came to me largely because after 30 years of activism, I was tired of sex workers voices rarely being given a platform to speak their/our truths. Working backwards, I first put in the proposal and then tried to figure out how to get there. This saw the birth of my Indiegogo fundraising campaign where I raised around £1,100 to get me to Vegas; a pretty good job my proposal was accepted then, but you could say that when you know where you need to go, the rest just flows!

July 2013 saw me in Las Vegas in the 110 degree heat, in a hotel surrounded by hundreds of fabulously inspiring activists and sex workers from all over the world. A dream realised. That and the Grand Canyon by helicopter. Memorable moments of my year.

And then came August and the dawning of the Medicine Path and my explorations with the grandmother teacher Ayahuasca. Words can never do this justice, all that this blessed teacher has brought to my life and my personal journey. I've tried to write about it, but I find that the words are a betrayal of the depth of it. All I know is that it has changed me. Deeply. And continues to do so.

Layers upon layers upon layers are revealed.  Old patterns hold a tight grip but with willingness and deep desire to transform those self limiting beliefs, a commitment to growth and a vibrational change that makes my choices clearer and clearer with every day that passes, change does come. The emergence of a butterfly from the womb of the chrysalis. And we all know that growth can be painful before it is liberating; the metaphor of the butterfly actually here a perfect one. So how can it be that we are still driven by fear, fear of upsetting all that we know, of making 'wrong' choices, of losing everything that we think we need in order to live our lives? A fear that can grip us so tight that for many, no changes ever come, for some it is more comfortable to stay where we are and simply accept the inevitability of some large dollops of misery on the way.

My healing practice comes into growth this coming year, I feel it in my bones. This passing year has seen me stepping into holding my own space there on a couple of occasions, moving from the place of eternal student into that of sharing my own wisdom and learning. Offering drum journeys and workshops for women, I discovered an ease and comfort in doing so that again surprised me. From this movement into trusting my own abilities, I now seek to collaborate more in this coming year. I'd like to invite the Universe (Yoniverse!) to bring me into more partnership with other healers to co-create amazing opportunities for growth, transformation and expansion. My medicine path expands and somehow merges with my passion for juicing, good health and tantra. I know not where these paths and changes will lead me, nor where the path will end (does it ever?) but I know one thing, my pledge to myself this year is to honour myself with clarity and bravery, with deep self love before giving over my personal desires to the needs and desires of others. And stillness beckons. She calls to me like a Siren singing her sweet song with ever increasing volume. My life has been busy these last twenty years - I've lived in another country, been married and separated, set up four businesses and birthed three children and now it's time for more reflection, more roots, more clarity and definitely more grace and stillness, for in the presence of stillness only then can a whisper can be heard, and only in the whisper may the truthful essence of the soul emerge.

And so, with the absolute majesty and magic that is the birth of the butterfly from the form of the caterpillar, I invite transformation of my new dreams and visions. Those of womanhood with roots. Those of community with communion. Those of deep contentment with life. And so rather than seeing the opening quote in the way of 'thoughts create reality' as per The Secret, more it's that I recognise that the way I view the world is how the world will be. Not that I necessarily conjure up whatever I desire in an instant, rather that I am conscious of what I create by virtue of what I believe and how I choose to view the world and it's possibilities.

And I will sit tonight, and contemplate my 2014, a year of love and learning, of honouring the Journey of The Soul, my soul, in coming into her remembrance. Of the timeless essence of why I am, and why we are here. Not to just fill my boots with possessions or dispossession, but to bring forth my own legacy, for my children, for my children's children and for LOVE.

Thank you 2013, you have been a real teacher. Welcome 2014 - I salute you!

Blue Goddess painting by Rita Hraiz Sacred Art.

This blog post is dedicated to Lauren Breckon: "An end is never an end but only a chance for new beginnings, and all things must die before they can be re-born". With love and gratitude for every lesson.

My Summer of Deep Healing

Blessings Familia! I start by honouring the commonality shared by many a tribe across our divine planet, our love for Madre Terra, Pacha Mama, our Mother Earth.

The end to this summer of 2013 has proven to be one of revelation, integration and manifestation on so many levels. Starting out this year I'd never have guessed it, but as part of a longer journey into wholeness it's been pretty fabulous all in all. Actually let me re-phrase that for what I've learned is that we are already perfectly whole but it's more that we've simply forgotten that fact. RE-membering is the trick. Re-Calling in our divinity, but sometimes we need a hand with that remembering yes? And so, from a synchronistic moment at a summer festival, which led to a random and unexpected meeting with David Icke, which in turn led to a book landing in my lap, a book which left a profound imprint upon my soul, and through that story (The Shaman's Last Apprentice) I found myself gently led towards our plant teachers and the facing of many a fascination and a fear.

I've held a sense of distant reverence for the mother vine, more commonly known as Ayahuasca for some time now, however the key word here was 'distant'. I've given a cursory glance or two to many a website or article, thinking that really it was more for others this particular pilgrimage, than it was for me. Truth be told I was fearful of its potential potency fearing two things: first, that following a few bad acid trips that this too would be some hellish and inescapable journey resulting in my certain madness, and secondly that my personal 'demons' would engulf me, leaving me in tatters, a shell of the woman I once was, unable to put myself back together again. Now, having since followed the series of synchronistic events that led to my initiation, I can clearly see how unfounded these fears actually were, but I voice them on behalf of others who may feel the same, for I know we are many. In voicing these fears though, I found myself experiencing so many strange and timely meetings and people that I was left in no doubt that I was meant to be doing exactly what I was and just 'listening' to these messages. 

Now, at this point my blog post could get very lengthy! I could give all the details of these random events and tell all about how they brought me to a place of communion, or I could just tell you that I got there, to that magical place where the soul is bared and the heart revealed, truly revealed, for us to bear witness to our tiny and somehow insignificant place in this amazing Universe, insignificant and yet holding so much capacity to choose to do either harm or good with the custodianship of our planet. What I learned about myself that was perhaps the single most liberating thing for me was that in letting go of fear, control and some false beliefs about my inner demons, that my 'freedom' lay on the other side of that fear. I learned that it is never possible that these fear based ego voices can be greater than us, for they are simply a part of us, one part of the whole, and that the whole is pretty wise and knows far more that the vessel we inhabit, this body, in this lifetime, insofar as knowing that we are absolutely meant to be here and have a unique role to fulfil whilst being so. 

When you journey with the mother vine, you see beyond doubt how ultimately connected we all are, to each other and to the earth, to our history, our evolution and our future, and it is the most breathtaking realisation I've ever experienced. It is impossible to contemplate doing harm to it, or to consider a return to living in the same ignorant ways we may once have done, when we have seen and felt what magnificence truly lies beneath our feet, and the possibilities for what sustains our lives and the lives of generations yet to come. I envisage clean water for my children and my grandchildren, I envisage fresh air and good food, enough to share with all, and I know that this is infinitely possible if we can but release our fear riddled grip on our need to possess, and take endlessly without giving back. 

So this summer, I've taken part in several plant medicine ceremonies; Ayahuasca, San Pedro and Komba (the venom of the tiny, somewhat cross looking, emerald green Amazonian tree frog). I've been blessed to spend time in the company of people truly awakening to other possibilities, people open to love, open to healing, and open to honouring not just the self but the planet. People committed to standing in integrity, committed to forging new pathways and changing what is for what can be and in that witnessing I am left humbled and deeply peaceful. I'm surprised by that sense of peace because for the first time in a long time, I feel that change is not only possible but is inevitable and it starts with our relationship to the self. Deep peace must be possible to conceive within before taking deep peace outside of ourselves, but more than that, it has to be a kind of selfless sense of peace if we are to truly create transformation and change in our world. 

Honestly, I don't know where to begin in sharing the magnificence of these experiences but I am full of gratitude for the people who have been there with me, and to those I have yet to meet on this path. My teachers have been as much the wondrous souls holding the space as the other people courageous enough to show up and share. There are many pioneers and adventurers who have gone before me, Shamans and ordinary people, visionaries, healers, scientists, artists and psychonauts. People desperate to make changes in their tough lives, who seek to live anew, people who are just curious, people who are open mined, social engineers and lovers everywhere. All I can say is Health and Healing be ours Brothers and Sisters and AHO to that! 

Alex Grey affirms that all we need to know is already inside us, and how ayahuasca takes us there.