Tuesday 27 September 2011

Fuck Me Harder....

...a.k.a, the porn sex myth.

So, your divine Hostess Claudia finds the cogs and machinery of her inner mind kicking into action once more. It's been a long break, much to ponder and many changes. I've given up tantra working as I fell in love and for me personally, I find it too hard to manage both love and sexuality work at the same time. God knows that relationships can be challenging enough without throwing client relationships into the mix and add into that full time day job and 3 kids...well you get the picture; even Superwoman would falter!

My default setting is to overDO rather than overBE, and when I'm in full swing acting this out, I admit to a tendency to burnout. Sound familiar? well, my medicine for burnout can be sex. I love sex and to be frank, I find that it relaxes me in ways that little else can, so imagine my delight upon completion of a recent tantra for women course, discovering that there are exercises I can consciously use to raise and channel sexual energy whilst meditating!! Now that's my kinda meditation, something that has never come easily to me before, so I've been exploring this a while now (more posts on tantra to follow) and I find it is leading me to consider some interesting reflections upon the nature of sex, fucking, love, intimacy and the like.

Until now, as a self confessed orgasm junkie, sexual pleasure has most definitely been achieved with the golden carrot of the thought of the deliciously divine orgasmic end result dangling omnipresent. Sex without orgasm felt like a major disappointment and often, in order to get that if I'm being completely honest,  fantasy would be activated to greater and greater degree. Fucking harder, talking dirtier, experimenting by going out on ever daring limbs, and with many of those I sure had no map 'home'. Don't get me wrong, I'm not averse to the odd bit of porn, the odd bit of fantasy, or the odd bit of sexual adventure at all, however, I do think that a great deal of mainstream porn is de-sensitising us to real intimacy and that intimacy has almost become a dirty word! 

The problem lies, as far as I can see it, in that' same ole same ole' split that sees the (often religiously based) chastity advocates owning the INTIMACY word whilst the rest of us speak in carnal tongues about the pleasures of fucking, however some of my most pleasurable sexual experiences of recent months have come from moving away from porno style fucking into sensual sexual intimacy. This I have managed to do without sacrificing my filthy whore nature to the lamb of love, and I'm wondering if this is in fact part of the same tendency to separate 'good' and 'clean' sex from 'bad' and 'dirty' sex.....yup...just like we do with women.

There are good girls and bad girls right? Those who are marriage material and those who are playthings. Those you want to fuck and those you want to treasure. Virgins and wives versus whores? But for those of us who court both real passionate intimacy and real dirty unashamed sexual pleasure, what offers you/us the best sex ever? What makes your sex great and your intimacy profoundly touching? Do you enjoy porn? Do you use porn to get you off? Do you see intimacy as a 'dirty' word and is it in fact the last taboo in these days of increasingly available sexual imagery?

Just askin'........do come in and chat....x

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