Tantric Bliss & the Cosmic Orgasm of Life!

Good evening dear readers...it's been a while. I've been busy establishing my own tantra and healing client base, which has in turn led me to be into the midst of setting up my own Tantric Temple in Manchester, UK. I'm really excited about this prospect for so many reasons, but most of all because I get to earn a living doing what I absolutely LOVE! How long I've dreamed of finding my own path, envied those who've always known theirs, or had a clarity I felt I was lacking in manifesting their own vision and sense of purpose in the world. Now, I'm delighted to say, I have found mine. "Do what you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life" is the mantra, and it's fair to say that doing what you truly love in life cannot ever feel like 'work' or a chore.

Over lunch with a lovely woman last week (read her blog here), we came to discuss the hero's journey, the Jungian concept of our journey into our true selves, and how our stories form us. I've never really been able to understand how all of my experience in so many fields of human sexuality could form my own story in a way that would make any sense to me. As an self determined 'outsider', yes I could relate to my edgy, non-conformist attitudes to life, my open minded, non-judgmental acceptance of the many shades of (way more than) gray in sex and sexuality, but how did it relate to my life path? Surely I was destined to be more than a 'former hooker'? Surely there were ways to bring sexual healing into the world that did not either pathologise, or get stuck in the analytical framework of 'head' and intellect based psychotherapy, which was not for me. I'm not for one moment knocking that practice, it can have a hugely important role to play in a persons self development, but it wasn't for me. And then I found tantra.

Since discovering tantra, my life has begun to flourish in ways I could have never imagined, and now that I'm fully embracing client based healing work, I'm full of gratitude every moment for those who come to see me. I genuinely *love* my clients, love that they bring me their open hearts and their willingness to heal, transform, change, move past that which may limit them, let go, surrender and truly experience the pleasure that is all of our birth-rights.

The transformation of negative attitudes is the foundation of my work. The messages that we have heard so often that we came to believe the lie, live in our bodies and our souls, and our spirits cry out to release them. Through Tantric bodywork I firmly believe it is possible to truly release this baggage we carry, most of which doesn't even belong to us. From the first moment we are caught self pleasuring and told that it is 'bad', or 'dirty', that we 'should be ashamed of ourselves' and more, we come to embody those ideologies. Why should exploring our own bodies to see how our pleasure feels be so bad? Why are we so stunted in our naturalness that we cannot even allow ourselves, as consenting adults, to really understand the liberation in pleasure? Feel comfortable in our nakedness rather than exposed or vulnerable? Through Tantra we can adopt a different viewpoint, and one of the things I love more than anything about this work is its inherent connection to love, respect of the self and of others. It is deeply honoring work in the truest sense of the word. As a woman, I have the right to say yes to things as much as I have the right to say no, and through tantra I am discovering where my 'yeses' lie. Through my work, I offer you the same respectful invitation to discovering your very own pleasure principles, and let me reassure you, we are all totally unique in our individual formulas. For me, this work has taken me into orgasmic living. I can feel pleasure in something as simple as washing the dishes, driving my car, talking a nap, walking in nature, making love, cleaning the bath out, whatever it is, so long as I do it mindfully, it is a blessing and confirms my aliveness in every moment. Tantra has led me to the cosmic orgasm of life, and I invite you to share in my journey, for as the image below says, how can we know how far we can go until we risk going that little bit further?

Ex-Stasis

"Ecstasy n. A feeling of elation. From the Latin ex-stasis, standing outside oneself."

Many people search for it; through substances, work, fitness, meditation, and of course sex. What is it to be able to 'stand outside oneself'? Is it the thought of being able to view ourselves more objectively (too 'heady'), or is it simple a hedonistic pursuit of an ultimate feeling of bliss/pleasure? Are we so locked into our sense of self via the Ego that the moments where the ego disappears, or rather quiets down, give us that sense of ecstasy? Busy lives, busy world, busy minds. For many of us a moment of true calm is a rare thing.

Sex can certainly provide us with many opportunities to reach heightened states of bliss, but that said, the shadow side of sexual expression seems to me to be far more prevalent in our modern cultures. In countries where Tantra and Tao first originated, women are as repressed as they are in any other, so it's not simply the roots of a philosophical or spiritual practice that honor it's original meaning, it's the understanding of and practice of it thereafter surely that give it it's potency and true potential.

What's happened to us when it comes to sex? Violent one moment, guilt ridden the next, we seem to have forgotten the easy and natural pleasures of being a fully em-bodied sexual being. New age sexuality cuts the balls off sex, and the media gives us ten overblown botox-injected pairs on the other end of the spectrum, but it's all screwed! Sex education, for what it's worth focuses almost entirely on warning, prevention, protection from disease and pregnancy, or if you're luckier than that, how it should be saved until after you're in a deep and committed relationship (judgment).  You see where I'm going? Where are the teachings that our bodies and our sexuality are to be celebrated and enjoyed despite all of the finger pointing moralising? We don't talk about sex in celebratory ways, but far more often in taboo ways, if we even get to talking about it at all. It's like the big global secret that ever remains behind locked bedroom doors. Bad girls enjoy sex and need punishing and boys are 'just being boys' and we should turn a blind eye right?

As children we are rarely taught about what happens to our blossoming bodies and emerging sexuality and resort to awkward shame-laden fumblings beneath dark covers in the deep silence of nightfall. I've often been chastised by lovers for being "too noisy" when I cum! "What will the neighbors think?" Um...that I'm enjoying my sexuality maybe?

Sex is NATURAL! It's FUN! It can be immensely healing. And when it is suppressed, repressed, judged or flung into the arena of a moral high ground, it can be dangerous, destructive and scary. There are so many myths spread about sex, so many deceptions, so many lies (Cosmo hold your publishing hands up please!) We are made to feel that we are generally "getting it wrong" or if we're not, that our lovers therefore must be, as lofty ideals that paint pictures of perfect sex being hot and sweaty with orgasm as the ultimate goal are held ever before us as the Holy Grail of sexual fulfillment. Yet for many men and women, sex is something that causes great anxiety either before, during, after or all of the above! It is rarely seen as an opportunity for a spiritual experience yet to the Tantrics and the Taoists that's exactly what it was. The conscious channeling of sexual energy is seen as an opportunity for the dynamic integration of mind, body and spirit and for prolonging and improving drastically our health, vitality and longevity. So what could be better? So why do we think there is so much resistance o this natural state of bliss? It costs nothing, it improves much and we could become powerful, strong human beings by re-connecting with this very primal energy....and who could possibly be threatened by that right?