The Lion's Den

It's the night before the event of the year people! Tomorrow, at a secret venue in London, the Erotic Oscars are announced, and the country's perverts, pleasure seekers and pace setters gather and celebrate their diversity and their right to free sexual expression (consenting + adult as per...)

The hard work and organisational skills which go into getting this event set up need no explanation, save to say that many of us are eternally grateful for the devotion and discipline shown in managing such an event. 

I've been nominated this year in the category 'Campaigner of the Year' and I'm both honoured and exited. I'm in great company in so many of the categories, an overwhelming array of talent indeed. You can see the finalists listed here 

Personally, this is my path in life, to bring healing and intimacy into the world to the best of my ability. To restore health, passion and pleasure into the lives of those who feel disconnected or at a loss and in this capacity, I am fiercely committed to the right to self determine and express our own sexuality. I always seem to feel the need here to insert the proviso that I'm talking about ADULT CONSENTING sexual freedoms here as so many seem to feel threatened by sexuality and it's very nature. It's like the great big theatre where all of our shadows, demons, fears, insecurities and histories are most certain to come and join us! But fret not, the good news is that when we begin to befriend them, there'a a jewelled path to pleasure awaits us if we're willing to risk exploring. It's significant to me that I still have to add that proviso to rebut the claims of those who conflate sexual freedom with harm, trafficking, oppression etc etc, as if one did not have the intellect to distinguish those states from the right to choose what we do with our bodies and with whom. 

For sex workers, it would seem that we remain the scorned woman, the one who represents the great fall from grace, the absence of the sacred, the harlot, the temptress and the whore. Why is that? A recent letter from the feminist Rahki Kumar to Michelle Obama could not have laid out on the alter this sacrificial lamb any clearer. The letter you can read here. What do YOU think? I'd be interested to hear?

Now, I have real issues with this letter. I've been working for over 30 years in sexual freedom activism and sex work rights campaigning, and I am sick and tired of people equating all that's bad and negative around sex work with poor and disempowered versions of womanhood. What if a woman WANTS to celebrate her independent sexuality, and chooses to sell sex? Not all sex workers are trafficked, drug addicted, pimped victims, and the stats quoted in the letter are unfounded and untrue.

Now then, if a person (man, woman, trans, child) is trafficked into any kind of indentured labour, and  not just sex, but sweat shops or dreadful demeaning jobs, or hang on even corporate immoral bondage!, well then yes, we should offer the support that is needed, as defined by those people experiencing that issue (otherwise it remains patronising and moralistic) to help them change their lives. It is possible to have a sacred soul that includes sexual freedom and the celebration of sexual FUN. So what if my nipples show whilst I'm celebrating, that doesn't invite anyones judgement (women get raped for wearing the wrong clothes - tell the attackers to stop raping!). If I want to wear a sheer bodysuit, let me. 

I agree that there are huge aspects of Beyonce's and many other pop icons (and other role models) imagery and lyrics etc that are problematic, largely as they/we are so manipulated by the media, but let's stop bloody equating this women's emancipation with a purity that for me, is actually quite alarming and certainly does NOT speak to me in any way at all. I have sacred sex, AND I enjoy it, and sometimes I wear outrageously sexy clothes when I'm having it! No...my letter would read VERY differently, Let's stop marrying poor role models with unproven stats about sex work, it's not a pretty liaison and it's erroneous, harmful and does women no favours whatsoever.  

Celebrate your sexuality as you choose, respect others, have fun or get the support you need. Not too much to ask is it?

And in the meantime, good luck to all of the finalists tomorrow! Have a great one. 

How anti-trafficking feminism harms sex workers.

I could not put it better than this so I will simply direct you to this important piece on why anti-trafficking feminists are doing more harm to sex workers rights, safety and civil liberties than they are effecting good. It's a real shame to me that this debate remains so polarised and that as long as it does, sex workers are being seriously challenged in their basic right to self determine, and to access services which help empower us and protect us rather than threaten and place us at risk. Read why here (please click on the active link)

Meantime you should watch this important video made by a seventy year old transgender sex worker in Phnom Penh. It's all connected. Love and peace...xx

Why Consent Is Key

The video above, made by the incredible Serpent Libertine of Red Light Chicago, highlights a really important piece of activism. The fact that most sex workers with any political savvy at all not only want to distinguish between trafficked sex workers and those who elect to work by their own choice and will, but recognise the fundamental importance of this distinction, are only all the more frustrated by the fact that current bad laws make it almost impossible for sex workers to assist lawmakers in tackling the most serious areas of concern.

Of the women and men who choose to work in this industry, most of us still find ourselves at the mercy of antiquated laws which do absolutely nothing to help forward engaging adult intelligent debate, truly useful service provision, effective policing and to hold any modicum of faith in the upholding of fair and just civil liberties. Many countries make prostitution illegal, in others it is legal all but in name as the surrounding laws and loopholes still render it impossible to work safely (UK is a prime example). It seems that we are still stuck in Victorian values when it comes to thinking about sex, the trading of it, and the free giving of it where it does not fit in with societies 'normal' value definitions.

As a woman who has explored many aspects of my own sexual expression over the years via fetish clubs and websites, BDSM practice, research, service provision, several areas of sex work (escort, phone sex operator, street worker), open relationships, tantra other expressions of my sexuality (which I see as inherently connected to my creativity), I am still staggered that the fundamental concept of FREE CONSENT seems so hard to grasp.

When it comes to the trafficking debate, this has been used for years to discredit sex workers who work by free will, who choose to sell sex, and who are conscious about how they work and within what boundaries. The trafficking issue has perhaps been the single most loud voice in the polarisation of the debate around sex work and feminist discussion, capitalist discussion, and the concept of how race, gender and social class impact upon the sphere of work and sexuality.

Work of any kind cannot be separated from capitalism it's true, however it seems that sex workers advocating for their right to decide what to do with their own bodies and incomes are the thorn in the side of the moral and ethical 'police'. It is dis-empowering and arrogant to sex workers to tell us that we do not recognise our own oppression; that we are complicit in it, whilst suggesting that you who work for large corporate companies or publishing houses etc, are not! Why are we so damn twitchy about the sale of our bodies? Would we abolish work because some aspects of capitalism leave a nasty taste in the mouth? No..so why try to abolish prostitution because some aspects of that do the same? Why not invest in and lobby for workers rights, better policing, fair laws; the things that will help sex workers on a global level tackle the real issues; violence, exploitation and abuse.

Please share this video on your sexual freedom websites, social networking sites, sex worker rights pages, spread the word...without changes in the law, we, the vast resource with access to the greatest information cannot help.

This is 2011 ~ Time For Change!!