Monday, 5 November 2012

If I'd known then what I know now.

Good morning all! First off let me say how prophetic my last post turned out to be. Reading it back again this morning I was struck by the horrible irony of my words as I thought I had lost a partner to my work, a partner I love very much indeed who decided that for him, my tantric path was too much to manage and so we arrived at the point of ultimatum; "It's your work or me."

When something is your soul calling, you can't really ignore the messages; the joy and the pleasure inherent in your 'work'. You can't ignore the certain knowledge of the healing potential you experience in offering your work in the world, and having taken a long time to get to this point, I knew in my heart what my answer would have to be in that moment. Following your dreams is important, creating a life that works for you is important. It doesn't mean that every step of the way will be easy of course, life isn't like that and in balance, nor should it be. There is light, dark and shadow in everything, and it's inevitable therefore that this contrast will be reflected in us, and this is where the lessons lie. Sitting with the shadow, I admit to moments of self doubt - would it not be easier to just settle for the ordinary and never rock the boat? Would it not be better to avoid judgment and criticism by playing safe?

*artwork by Niagara Detroit.

It's fair to say that I've lived much of my life outside the box, gathering a beautiful wealth of experiences that really informs what I choose to do now. To step back into a box then, at exactly the time I am making sense of it all would be a complete waste of potential, but are there other possible outcomes? Building my tantra practice and my healing work is an absolute joy for me. Those who know me understand how perfectly this work makes sense of all my life experience and I know I have a great deal to offer others in supporting their own mind/body/spirit expansion, so to give it up completely is out of the question. Rarely has anything unfolded so beautifully and effortlessly, though rarely have I also been called to defend my position on something I choose to do quite so much but I guess working with sexuality will do that, it's a big, and very charged arena to step into, but a very rich one too.

Tantra is an incredibly powerful and healing practice. Many of us in the west spend far too much time in our heads, bombarded daily with images and ideas about love, sex, and about what our bodies should look like. Cosmo magazine purports that us women should be having multiple orgasms with accommodating partners or we're off. Heat and other gossip magazines criticise women's bodies and mens behaviour in a constant stream of dross. OK and Hello present some vile picture-perfect sanitised version of life, a kind of love that makes my toes curl, and most other mainstream media sits very squarely on the side of what society deems 'normal', rarely venturing to challenge those 'norms'. What tantra does for me is begin to break down the barriers, open the heart and still the mind. Changing the circuitry if you like, starting to think and more importantly, to feel differently. It's not all about sex. It's not all about 2 day sex and orgasm marathons as Sting purports, and to name it such does it a great injustice. There is a beautiful history in there, originating in India centuries ago that is fascinating and enriching to delve into. In modern terms, neo-tantra as it has been coined, holds the potential for us to live fully in our juicy, sensual, and joyful potentials.

Sacred touch offers us a moment of peace within our busy lives, offers the opportunity to really start to connect with that longing for intimacy, for touch, for healing and for sensual pleasure. We begin to listen to ourselves and our bodies in ways that aren't possible when we're racing around in a constant state of busyness, and we begin to do that most precious of things, give ourselves and others the gift of our attention. To truly give attention requires presence, energy and commitment to the moment. Tantra fosters living in the moment via real body awareness and a focus on our ability to shift our energy back into alignment in any given moment. No separation or disowning of the body, of sexuality, or of the physical as exist in so many practices or religions. No over focus on any one aspect of the self, more a composite move towards living in true balance.

Two of my recent clients have told me at the end of their sessions, that they had never experienced anything like the peace they found in the time we worked together. Another, a friend, said he hadn't felt such stillness and calm in over 8 months of turmoil and struggle in his life/mind. Why should we not be able to access that level of healing on a daily basis? What limits us and what do we settle for? This practice isn't new, it's incredibly ancient. It's us who have forgotten what we once knew. My commitment to my life, to my self and to my healing work is that I honour everything it offers and brings. I enjoy my clients, I have compassion and I work from the heart. If you wish to discuss my work or book a session, please email me at or visit my profile on tantralink.