Dropping The Veil - What Can Tantra do for you?

Tantra, an ancient practice for modern times. Tuning into the body, the soul, releasing, letting go, surrendering and communing with the Spirit.

I hear so many people express how tired they are of hiding their truth around intimacy, the body and sexuality, and I share that because it's good to know you're not alone. Isn't it? What I've noticed in my practice is the absolutely inescapable flood of relief that crosses people's faces when I simply reflect back "yes, I hear you, that's normal" or "oh that's common."Usually a smile crosses their faces, followed by a genuinely surprised "really?" This myth that it's only us, the myth which keep us so small, well it's a potent jailer and we are taking a first step towards freedom in understanding that we are not alone after all.

More people come to me with that opening sentence than any other - "I'm tired of hiding, of not being able to be myself," or "I'm tired of feeling stuck and limited in my relationships when it comes to sex and intimacy." So, when we start our tantric journey, the first thing we look at is how to identify who that 'self' actually is, and get clear on our intentions for transformation. Starting with the goal and working backwards we will begin to take apart, or paradoxically, construct, a strong sense of self around our unique maps for pleasure.

For many of us, we have lived carrying messages, beliefs, energy and ideas that are not even ours, and these freeloading hitch-hikers have occupied so much of our lives that we often times don't even know what the possibilities would be without those beliefs. Who would I be if I could let go of….(fill in blank)?

In my practice, when a client steps through the door, I first off acknowledge their courage for getting there; true tantric practice is not for the faint hearted but it is for the Warrior of the Spirit. Recognising the courage required to get there, we then enter into sacred space, co-creating what those sessions will look like. I work quite intuitively once the process is started, acting as a vessel for receiving any clues or keys into unlocking that which is ready for change. To see a client begin to understand what may have been a challenging block, or a sticking point, and to see a client leave feeling encouraged to try to change things out there in their daily life fills me with wonder. In releasing armies of loved-up, conscious, open people, the ripple effects can only be good yes?!

Using a combination of bodywork (massage with intention), breath work, visualisations and other tantric structures, we begin wherever is fitting to the person sitting in front of me. Some clients are clear about where their blocks are and others have no idea. Some come knowing what they want to work on, others go with the flow of trusting the process. Some are very shy, others ready to dive right in. All are good.

It's important to say here that living in a tantric way is not about just sex. Tantra may utilise the powerful force of sexual (creative) energy but it's so much more than a manual of techniques about how to get great sex, in fact in essence that couldn't be further from the truth, though in finding its essence, great sex is usually a guaranteed outcome in my view. What makes it great? The truth makes it great. Integrity and authenticity make it great.

When we release shame, guilt, fear, anxiety and trauma, we create space for pleasure, real embodied pleasure to occupy that empty seat. I invite your questions about my work, my sessions, my one-to-one and group work possibilities. I invite to to step into freedom from the restraints and restrictions you have been given, instead offering up the change to place yourself in the drivers seat. Not all restraint is dull!

http://www.stephmagenta.com

Lingam Lust!

Following last week's post about Pussy Power, this week sees your Hostess with the mostest contemplating the delights of the lingam, or in non tantric terms, the cock. Personally I've long since held a healthy delight in the pleasures of the male body, the cock and the moment of penetration.

The first time I ever read an Andrea Dworkin book, which for me seemed to hold as its fundamental premise the demonising of the act of penetration as an affront to all women, I just did not get it. As a woman in her power and in her pleasure, I could not see how this consenting pleasurable act could be reduced to a symbol of power over simply in its very nature. I certainly didn't feel dis-empowered when I chose to make love in that traditional way, and so I naturally began to wonder who these women were who so disliked the act, and indeed why something as beautiful as making love could hold so much of the worlds imbalance in its simple essence. Men were being vilified and Andrea was not cutting it for me!

How could these beautiful and varied aspects of our bodies warrant such disdain and dare I say it, even hate? It's dangerous territory when we start making things become symbols of other things; making all men demons because some wield power rather than love with their strength. Making all women weak because some choose to stay in a role that serves them rather than truly take ownership of their strength too. Making assumptions because of cultural or gender or race based differences is incredibly short sighted and often results in the battle of right and wrong where there can never ever be a 'winner', only one who either compromises or one goes to 'war'.

So, back to the wondrous lingam and its magnificent presence. As a Tantric massage therapist, I get to see a lot of different bodies; yonis, lingams, backs, legs, arms, shoulders, every damn bit of it, and every single one of us is totally unique. Injury scars upon tight spots upon the fluidity of a flexible spine, upon the curve of a back or the weight of a thigh. I love working with bodies and am in total respect for the people who bring themselves forth to learn more about their capacity for pleasure, and one major aspect of this is to begin to undo the negative programming so many of us experience around our bodies and our sexuality.

So, see the image above...how many of us really hear that in our childhoods and youth? I know I did and it is totally outrageous that people can attach so much shame to our bodies based upon such lies. In Taoist practice, and in Tantra too, it's possible to get to the point where orgasmic bliss can be achieved even without any movement between two intertwined bodies. Energy and breath combined with consciousness alone can create such incredibly heightened states of arousal and pleasure that it becomes easy to see the beauty in our own bodies and those of our chosen partners or lovers, and who wouldn't want to try that out for size? Who would chose to place faith in what they experience as physically, intellectually and spiritually untrue?

I know for me, reverence for the lingam is the same as reverence for my own yoni and for the whole of the body. It's a human being I'm looking at and connecting with first and foremost, and how could that be anything other than beautiful? Let's lose the games, the myths and the propaganda about sex, about intimacy, about bodies and about romance and instead, choose love, which of course can only start to become possible when we start to work on first fostering a sense of deep self respect. As my teacher Hilly says, "most of us enter relationships holding in front of us a begging bowl saying 'fill me up', and yet until we approach our lovers with our own bowls full, it's not possible to truly give and receive love". I could not agree more, and Tantra works really effectively at taking us into the celebration and honoring of our bodies, our minds and our souls, so why would we ever choose otherwise?