Sunday 16 September 2012

It's not where you've come from but where you're going....

Imagine a imagine a choice. You can see a road behind you, you know that road well because it's where you just came from. It's rugged, the rocks scratched your feet to ribbons, the hurdles were many but you arrive at this mid point, looking around you knowing you can, at any point, choose to go back. It may be safer now that you know the perils; it may not be but at least it's the devil you know.

Now imagine a new possibility, that any of the other three roads could lead to bliss, achievement and fulfilment and weigh that up against more of what you left behind, a bondage of the most tiresome kind. Every day in every moment we can choose to make different decisions, to shift our energy (the essence of tantra), renew our perspective, understand that we are bound only by our own self imposed limitations.

"Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." (T.S.Eliot)

So sometimes when life challenges us to really break free of those bonds and step into our dreams, or simply into new possibilities, who are we to get in the way?

When we finally come to those lucid mounts where if we are truly awake to the calling of our own souls, we hear the voice of our passion crying out to our spirit to fulfil its divine purpose, we need our warrior selves to carry us forward through fear, hesitation and anything else that may limit our growth. My mother always taught me that even though you may try, you cannot ignore the voice of your own conscience. It's the ever present barometer which keeps us in check and lets us know how far on or off track we really are. We can mould, manipulate and deny, but the voice will tell us the real truth, over and over and over. Learning to separate the voice of truth from ego can be tricky but we have only to look at our own personal 'hero's journey' to understand how the lessons of our past inform our future.

My own hero's journey revolves around sexuality and sometimes, people working with sexuality face a great deal of less than ordinary challenge. One of my teachers recently said that "it takes great courage to stand true in this work" and I knew exactly what she meant. Having faced many prejudices or short sighted judgments through my life, understanding why sex workers call for sex worker only support forums, and having seen how the most well intentioned supporters can diminish the real experiences of those who sell sex, or who work with the naked body (soul) or of those who love those who work in the arena of human sexuality, I know it isn't always an easy path to tread. Sex and money can set off people's fears like nothing else (though I think I'd much rather be a wanker than a banker any day!)

Do you work with sex and sexuality? what's your experience of getting support for the key issues you face? I'm currently looking into setting up a sex workers support forum or group and would love to know what YOU would want to know. What kind of support is missing for sex workers? I used to belong to an excellent internet based forum called Whorenet, which is alas no more, and which provided a really valuable arena for discussion and support. There were several forums within the main hub, one for sex workers only, one for supporters of SW's and others for more general political and philosophical debate, but it's long gone now. Whilst there are others, there isn't much as far as I can see, but if anyone knows of more, please share here. There are groups and forums for just about every profession there is, and yet when it comes to the oldest profession, it seems to be the last watering point along the path when it comes to resources. Please, share your blogs and links...light the way for others at the crossroads who may feel alone, isolated or out on a limb.

And if you're working as a self determined sex worker, celebrate your choices and step into your power. Anything less is living half a life and why do's way too precious to squander.


  1. What kind of support is missing for sex workers? I used to belong to an excellent internet based forum called Whorenet, which is alas no more, and which provided a really valuable arena for discussion and support.

  2. I think the support that is missing is how we organise peer led discussion and healing. Protecting our own energies, boundaries, sharing challenges and aims for growth too. What do you think?