Good evening gorgeous readers! This week sees us just beginning to step into the first glimmers of spring (in the northern hemisphere at least) and I can feel the life pushing back up through the earth once again in her desire to renew and shake off the shackles of winter. Winter has been a tough one for me; many demons to slay, and as many stories to put to rest which required a willing surrender into the bowels of the underworld for my very own version of Persephone's dark night of the soul.
The thing with demons is this - until we know them and are willing to face them, they control us and we are effectively puppets on the strings of what my lovely friend Charlotte calls the 'pretender voices'. Over and over we return into our very own 'underworlds' driven there through false fears and outworn beliefs, most of which emerge as basic survival mechanisms in early childhood, and like some old Vietnam veteran who has never been told the war is over, we crouch in our self-made caves, all guns pointed out and ready for action.
I have just spent a winter facing many of mine, retreating in order to really listen to my own body and soul, my spirit crying out for new ways of being.
In my retreat, I came to recognise something quite exciting and really liberating, that being that the things which have sometimes felt were my cross to bear are also my gifts. In other words my lead was my gold if only I could find the Alchemist's Key, and the key was simple actually - mastery of the ego mind and integration of experience.
I'm blessed in my work, and I've come to recognise that 25 years of sexual freedom activism has not been a fruitless pursuit. A peach cannot be picked from a tree before it's ripe or the result will be hard, tasteless and lacking in juice, and just like life, when we move towards things before we are ready, the results will likely be the same. But when we are reedy, do we dare to eat the peach and transform the lessons into the teachings?
What can we do with our essential naturalness when it comes to sex? Sex is the grand theatre in which all of our deepest fears and insecurities are acted out, the body being the vessel for the drama. My life work has been crafted in assimilating lessons in sexuality or so it would seem. I truly believe that this is what I came here for, what I was contracted to bring to this planet - sexual healing, and boy do we need it! The more I work in this area, the more I see how many of us are crippled with fear, doubt and deep unmet longings for intimacy and connection. Bombarded by images of romance, love and sex, we race around like the proverbial headless chicken in pursuit of non-existent states of sexual and emotional fulfilment, all too often approaching prospective partners with a begging bowl of sorts, asking 'fill me up please' in silent and unacknowledged co-dependence.
Tantra provides a platform from which to dive deep into delicious and ecstatic states of union, starting exactly where we need to, with the self.
My pledge to my clients, my self, my partnerships and my relationships on every level is to make the world sexier one step at a time. Not the 'sexy' of lacy knickers and huge valentines day displays of love of the kind that is sold to us, but the 'sexy' of the breath, the mind and the spirit in union, the sexy of the planet being healed through our consciousness, the sexy that can play with bondage but not be held captive to it, the sexy that can look as good in camouflage boxers as an Agent Provocateur basque, the sexy that just is rather than tries to be. I'll be coming back to this subject. It's a big one!
Tell me then dear readers....what is sexy to you?